Will the Circle Be Unbroken?

"...Their patience in their tribulations." (Alma 60:26) Our lives continued on revolving around home, school and Church. However, there were as always occasional - sometimes frequent bumps in the road. My bumps usually had to do with depression and anxiety having its roots in perfectionism and what some have called "spiritually dyslexia." The latter meaning to interpret a verse in Scripture or counsel from our Church leaders in the worst possible light, so I could use that to beat myself up. For the most part there was a lot of joy, blessings and happiness. I was ordained a high priest at a fairly young age, was called as High Priest Group Leader, and eventually a Counselor in the Bishopric. One day I was literally walking on air when one of my younger sisiters called me and asked me to baptized her. What a tremendous time that was when her little family that had suffered so much were joing the rest of the family in the Church. That was in the Spring by the next Spring my sister was dead leaving three children behind to be raised by my parents, me and my other sister. This was difficult and very hard to understand. As my dear wife stood by and comforted my dying sister so she she did the same for me. My response was the same as it had been in almost all such situations - buckle down, build the fence higher and work harder. There were cracks appearing in the eternal circle and my distrust of the Lord was  slowly creeping in. More tribulations were to come.

Forever Family: Little Green House on the Hill

"Command thy children to do good." (Alma 39:12). Sarah worked as a teacher for the first year of our marriage and at the end of that year I finish my degree in Elementary Education. Sarah was also pregnant and gave birth to our first child, a little girl. Family and friends watched our little girl for about three months. Then Sarah and I switched places in the third grade class she was teaching in the dead of winter. I would continue to teach at that same school in first through third grades for almost thirty years. When I officially graduated and received my diploma I carried my daugher with me to accept it. Sarah washed our clothes on a washboard in the bathtub and hung them outside to dry. Once the wind almost carried our clothes off and the little umbrella clothesline they were hanging on.Then later we were able to buy a used wringer washer with tubs and washing clothes to the backporch which was hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Sarah could play the piano so we managed to get a second hand upright for her to use. Both of us loved to sing and wanted our little girl to enjoy music as well. The first year of our marriage we started reading the whole New Testament. We finished New Year's Eve 1975. We had Family Home Evening every Monday night evening before Bronwyn was born. We read the lessons together, had a treat, and sometimes we would have an activity. At church Sarah was the Young Woman's President and the girls sometimes came to our house to work on projects. I served as a counselor in the Elders Quorum Presidency briefly and I taught Sunday School. We lived near my folks and they had a big garden. That year we had bushels and bushels of tomatoes and green beens. We would sit on the front porch in the evenings and snap beans for canning. Sarah did a lot of canning to add to our years food supply. We had very little material possessions and we had to scrimp and save, but we were happy in our little green house on the hill.

Temple Marriage

"Behold, their husbands love their wives, and their wives love their husbands;" (Jacob 3:7) Sarah and I went to Kensington, Maryland to get our marriage license and on the same day we attended the dedication of the Washington D.C. Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a beautiful November day and we were walking on air. One month later we were married on Friday 20 Dec 1974 in that same temple. It was the first LDS temple built in the East since the Saints trekked across the plains to the Salt Lake Valley in the 1800's. We were one of the first twelve couples to be married in the new temple. Sarah had made her beautiful wedding dress and I wore my own white shirt with white pants borrowed from a friend. I rented white slippers, a white belt and a white tie at the temple. After passing around the stained glass wall behind the recommend desk we walked the length of a bridge with ceiling to floor glass walls where the woods surrounding the temple could be seen on either side. In front of us was a huge impressive mural of the Second Coming. We were ushered upstairs where we changed from our street clothes into white clothing. Since this was Sarah's wedding day. She dressed and prepared herself in the Bridal Room with the help of attendants. I changed in a regular locker room with individual enclosed stalls. Both of us received instruction before going on to the Endowment room. It was the first time I saw Sarah dressed in her beautiful wedding gown which seemed so much a part of this special place. She looked radiant and happy. Everyone spoke in hushed tones and only the soft sound of slippers on carpeting could be heard. Sarah had to go though the whole Endowment service for herself. Since I had already been to the temple, I went through the service as a proxy for someone who was deceased. In the Endowment room, men sat on one side, women on the other. Sarah and I were asked to be the witness couple and we nervously acccepted. We would represent all the other men and women in the room at the altar. However, this request did allow us to sit side by side.With the Endowment service over I passed through the veil first and then guided Sarah through. We both then entered the Celestial Room where we could hear the soft tinkling of the chandeliers in the huge white room with pastel chairs and sofas and gold colored furniture. Sarah and I sat side by side one again and marvelled at the beauty of the place that symbolized the highest kingdom of glory a faithful Mormon could obatain by keeping the covenants we had just made. From there Sarah and I went to a small room with a marble altar in the middle and mirrored walls on two sides facing each other; the reflection seeming to go on forever. There were three chairs in the front and other chairs lined up along the walls. Sarah and I had the privilege of being married by the temple president. Ours was but a small group of a few Mormon friends since none of our family could be with us. In that small lovely room Sarah and I knelt  across from each other at the altar. We were then married for time and all eternity. Once again we were floating. The LDS Church had now brought me on the path of faith and family with an eternal companion.

Supportive Church

"And my soul was rent with anguish..." (Mormon 6:16)  My feelings were mixed about going home. I was happy to see Sarah, who had written faithfully to me, my family and Church friends.However, as the days went by and my mission officially ended I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into depression. I became overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and despair. I truly believed that I had failed my family, my Church friends, but most of all the Lord, because I had not completed my mission. I should have prayed harder. taken better care of myself, worked harder, had more faith. I should have done something to keep going. I spent most of my days in bed sleeping and my waking hours were filled with darkness. Sarah tried to cheer me up. She had gotten a job in my home county; teaching in a small country school. However, her support and caring failed to lift my spirits. Church members visited and offered encouragement. In time I was able to go for long walks, but I still stayed away from people and did not go to Church. Eventually our kind Branch President gave me a calling I could do at home. Then some Church friends invited me to an Emotional Health Support Group which I attended briefly . In time things improved. The darkness lifted and I was better. I got a job as a night desk clerk at a motel. I went back to school and I went back to Church. Things were more normal, more joyful and hopeful. However, I never did regain the zeal I once had and began to develop the first symptoms of what some have referred to as "spiritual dyslexia". I'll explain more about that later. Nevertheless, the LDS Church (the people) helped me get back on the path of faith and I started life anew.

Missionary Church

""Teach them the word of God with all diligence." (Jacob 1:19) That was what I wanted to do so very much. In the summer of 1971 I was ordained an Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Elder Rex D. Pinegar, then President of the North Carolina -Virginia Mission  and later a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy: a General Authority. I worked to save for my mission, but it wasn't nearly enough. My parents could contribute little. So both the branch where I joined the LDS Church and the branch I attended in college helped support me. I was called to serve in the Italy Rome South Mission. I was thrilled. I loved foreign languages already having studied French, Spanish and German. I was looking forward to learning Italian. I bid Sarah, my family and friends goodbye and boarded a bus in January of 1972 headed for Salt Lake City. Except for two trips to the Hill Cumorah Pageant in Palmyra, New York I had not travelled far from home. This was a great adventure. So I went from the Valley, across the Blue Ridge mountains, the plains, over the Mississippi River and into the Great Rocky Mountains. I listened to the messages of Apostles and other General Authorities. It was like a dream. My assigned companion was Hawaiian. Then along with all the other missionaries I entered the beautiful and majestic Salt Lake City Temple. I was just as beautiful on the inside as out. I participated in a number of ordinances considered necessary to exaltation. It was all very different and much more elaborate than the simple services of local meetinghouses. Parts of the ordinances were to me spiritual and uplifting. Other parts were strange and disturbing. When I met up with my companion in the magnificent Celestial Room he sense my unsettled thoughts and assured me that it would be better the next time through. The Celestial Room symbolizes the highest degree of heaven a faithful Latter-day Saint might obtain. My companion was right. My second time through I was able to concentrate more on the sacred parts of the Endowment service and less so on the parts that disturbed me. I believed that I would come to understand better in time. From Salt Lake City those missionaries who were learning a language went to the Language Training Mission adjacent to the Brigham Young University campus. Those who were not learning a language went straight out into the mission  field. At the LTM I was assigned a new companion, Utah born, and committed  to "viva la lingua" which meant speaking Italian at all times except when speaking English was absolutely necessary. So our small green Italian dictionaries became our other constant companions. Within two months we had a pretty good understanding of some very basic Italian and had learned to teach the first few discusssions. Toward the end of that time period I became sick and it was decided that I would not be going to Italy. The doctors recommended that I be sent home. However, after a trip to Salt Lake City and meeting with Elder Loren C. Dunn, another member of the First Quorum of the Seventy it was decided that I would continue to serve; just in a different location. Although it was disappointing at first, all I wanted was to be a missionary. I was sent back east to the North Carolina-Carolina Virignia Mission where Elder Rex D. Pinegar was serving as Mission President and just south of the mission where my home was located. I flew to Roanoke and began my mission service there with another Utah - born compannion. We rode bicycles and did a lot of tracting (going from door-to-door). We met a lot of wonderful people, but made no converts. Then in late spring I was transferred to Marion, North Carolina; a small town in the western part of the state. Once again my companion was from Utah and we had a car that spent more time in the shop than on the road. Being a missionary in Marion was also quite an adventure and I loved every minute of it. We were partnered in our work with a missionary couple from the Pacific Northwest. They would be strength and joy to us. The people we worked with were humble and hardworking. It was a good place to be. We did a lot of tracting and converted three people while we were together. My Utah companion was transferred and he was replaced by one from California. I had a harder time adjusting to him as he did to me. So our time together was short. He was replaced by a "greenie", a brand new missionary from Utah and I was to be his trainer. We got along well and became good friends. So much so that I named my youngest son after him. We also did a lot of tracting and had a great time. Then I became sick again. I had lost a lot of weight. Finally it was decided I would be released early from my missionary service, because of my health. It was hard, but necessary. Fortunately, I had the opportunity of seeing my companion baptize his first convert. The LDS Church still guided me on my faith journey, but a new experience was about to com to pass..

New Church

"And now, behold this the testimony which is in me." (Alma 7:13) Shortly after joining the LDS Church I started attending a small local private college and then transferred to a teacher's college further up the Shenandoah Valley. My folks didn't have the money for me to continue my schooling, but I worked hard, got some scholarships, and borrowed the rest. I continued to enjoy the opportunity to learn and I had decided to become a teacher. I did not enjoy dorm life, so I spent as much time away from the dorm as possible. That was easy, because when I wasn't attending class or studying I spent every moment involved in some sort of Church activity and sharing my testimony with anyone who would listen. I accepted every calling or position I was asked to do and fulfilled multiple ones to the best of my ability. I taught classes and held leadership positions in some organizations. I faithfully did the required hometeaching each month, plus I participated in whatever Priesthood ordinances I was asked to perform. I invited fellow students at college to Church every week. Most of them were girls. I had a girlfriend. She had been my friend in high school and at the Presbyterian Church. She also had converted to the Mormon Church, but in another town. We became sort of unofficially engaged, but we broke off the engagement and I prepared in earnest to serve a full time mission. Interestingly enough I met the girl I was to marry much later shortly after the broken engagement. I met her in the former funeral parlor that our branch met in. She was not a member of the Church, but had been invited by a young couple. I was smitten by her right away, and felt sure we were meant to be together. Sister missionaries taught her the discussions. I met Sarah in January and she joined the LDS Church in March. Things were up and down with school, but I now had someone to talk to about my hopes and dreams. The Mormon Church continued to help me in my spiritual growth.

Restored Church

"With a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ" (Moroni 10:4) I knelt beside my bed and came to "know" that the Book of Mormon was the word of God, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that the Church of Jesus Christ was the only true and living church on the face of the earth. I had just turned eighteen on July 24th (Pioneer Day) when the Mormon missionaries came into our home. They began to teach us the six discussion about the restored gospel and the LDS Church. When they returned to teach the second discussion, only I remained. I had been praying if I was called to ministry. I had been praying to find out what God wanted me to do with my life. After reading the Book of Mormon and a few pamphlets, attending the small Mormon meetinghouse filled with an even smaller group of kind and loving people, and having five discussions I believed that God had answered me. I believed it with all my heart. On a Saturday four weeks after I met the missionaries I was baptized by immersion by one of them and confirmed by the other. My heart was filled with joy and I was ready to do whatever I was asked to do. The next morning I was ordained a deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood. My father was there just as he had been at my baptism. He had started taking the discussions. As a deacon I passed the Sacrament (Communion) to the members of the congregation which was called a branch. When my father was ready in October I was ordained a priest one Sunday and baptized my father the next Saturday. He was ordained a deacon then a priest in quick succession. We then served together in preparing, blessing, and passing the Sacrament as needed. I was very happy.The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was taking me on a different path on my journey of faith.

Country Church

"We have taught them upon their hills" (Alma 26:29). When I was eight years old our family, now grown to six, moved to the country into a small four room house with a lean-to kitchen. It stood at the bottom of  tree covered hill. The woods behind the house would become my playground, my refuge, and my sacred space. Our house had no running water or a bathroom. My dad later expanded our kitchen adding a sink and cold running water. By some standards we were considered poor, but so were many of our friends, neighbors, and family. However, we always had plenty to eat, clean clothes, and our home was always neat. Both of my parents worked very hard. I was the oldest of four children much younger than me so I became designated leader and caretaker. We attended an old four room brick school, that had a fifth classroom tucked away in the basement. It was the same school my mother attended when she was a child. There were two churches nearby across the road from each other. One was a Methodist Church with some classrooms added on, The other was a one room Presbyterian Church. They had Sunday School in the four corners of the church building. I attended the Methodist Church briefly, Bible school in the summer at both churches, but eventually chose the Presbyterian Church to attend. I knew the kids there better, and our neighbor who went there took us in his old black car. The car was immaculate inside and out. Our parents gave us strict instructions to keep it that way. When all four of us children started going to Church my father took us, but he and my mother never did come except for special occasions. My father had joined the Church of Christ in his late teens and my mother belonged to a Pentecostal Church founded by her uncle. However, neither of them attended their respective churches. From that time on up into my teen years I loved going to Church. I enjoyed reading the Bible for myself and singing the stirring songs "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" and "Onward Christian Soldiers" .That is what I wanted to be a "soldier for Christ". In those days we had a Bible class in school one day a week. Each student had a notebook to paste pictures, scripture verses, and songs in. I learned all the books of the Old Testament and received a bookmark. We sang songs and the one I remembered best was "This is my Father's World". For me God did speak to me everywhere in all his beautiful creations. As I said I don't remember a time when I did not believe in God. However, one fine autumn day I walked into the woods and looked up at the red, orange and golden canopy of leaves. Then and there I knew and accepted Jesus as my Savior. I was thirteen years old. I was not baptized, nor did I join the Church until three years later. At the time I walked up to the front of the Church during a revival to signify my public profession of faith. At the age of 16 in the spring I knelt before the congregation and water was sprinkled on my head. I was baptized and accepted into the Presbyterian Church. My parents were there and I was very happy. I was no perfect child, nor was I a perfect teenager. Yet by God's grace I did not stray too far afield. In my teen years I sometimes felt that God might be calling me into the ministry. I had wanted to be a teacher, yet I was receiving much encouragement from my small Presbyterian Church congregation to truly be a "soldier for Christ." It was only a small country church, but it had raised me in the Christian faith.

City Church

"Having been born of goodly parents" I started attending a small Prebyterian Church on a street corner just a short distance from our house. I was four years old. My aunt and cousin lived across the street from my family. They took me to Church with them. God touched me when I was very young and I have always believed. I loved to sing the little songs that children sing in Sunday School - "Jesus Loves Me", "The B-I-B-L-E, and "This Little Light of Mine". I loved listening to the Bible stories - "Noah's Ark", "David and Goliath" and all those about Jesus. My parents weren't particularly religious, but they did respect religious faith. So when I asked if we could say grace before meals, they agreed. From that day forward and whenever we ate together as a family they had me say grace. For two years we lived in that old house on that old street in a quiet small town at the tip-top of Virginia in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley. For two years I attended that little Presbyterian Church on the corner. It would be the Presbyterian Church that raised me in my Christian faith.

This is My Story

I grew up as a Protestant, converted to Mormonism in my teens, and came home to the Catholic Church in my late fifties. I am a Latter Day Catholic and this is my story.